Fast & Curious: Short Takes on Random Things

Quote of the week

Albert Barbusci (via Novaporte website)

Albert Barbusci (via Novaporte website)

We’ve been at it for three-and-a-half years, I would say if you reference any of those major developments you’re looking at a 10-year cycle. We’re well within, and much shorter than one could imagine. I think we are in very good shape, I think we’re better than anyone could have expected from us. — Albert Barbusci, Cape Breton Post, 14 July 2017

Am I hearing things (it happens, especially in summer when my ears are often full of salt water) or did Albert Barbusci just admit that he and his port development partner Barry Sheehy don’t know what they’re doing?

“Better than anyone could have expected from us” is the kind of endorsement I’d expect to find on a cookbook written by two German Shepherds or a bottle of wine made by the Ford Motor Company. (“Greasy, with undertones of brake fluid.”)

Our port “developers” are now, apparently, hot on the heels of a shipper, and although it’s all hush hush and confidential and “strategic,” Barbusci told the Post:

I can confirm very confidently that we’re in what I would call the last mile and it needs to happen this year.

And if you believe that, can I interest you in this plate of raw meat? I got the recipe from a couple of German Shepherds…

 

Eureka!

From the squeaky wheel department: my whine about not hearing back from Halifax Regional Municipality spokesperson Brendan Elliott on the Halifax fire department’s decision to abandon polygraph tests sparked this email response:

…of the eight major Canadian municipalities contacted in our best practice review, only one (Calgary) is using this tool. HRFE [Halifax Regional Fire and Emergency] conducts security clearance for all career firefighter recruits including reference checks, criminal record checks, child abuse registry checks, and the completion of an integrity interview. In consultation with our legal department, we determined this provides sufficient information to determine eligibility for employment.

I still don’t know when HRFE abandoned polygraph tests but at least I’ve nailed down the why: because nobody else does except Calgary.

 

‘Fat Magnet’

I’ve been known to mock the “Ad Content” in the Cape Breton Post digital edition, but this week I couldn’t help but notice the dodgy quality of some of the advertisements in the print edition.

In particular, I couldn’t help but notice the ad at right, which ran down the entire right hand side of the Op-Ed page in Tuesday’s paper, smack up against poor Thomas Walkom who was trying to write seriously about the Omar Khadr deal. The result was mind-warping:

Walkom: The Omar Khadr settlement is a sign of the times.

Ad: There now exists an all natural, bio-active weight-loss compound so innovative, so effective, and so unstoppable it literally acts like tiny “Fat Magnets…”

Walkom: Prodded by the courts, the government is admitting that its preoccupation with national security in the years following 9/11 allowed — and in some cases encouraged — the abuse of Canadian citizens and residents.

Ad: Thousands of people are now trying Fat Magnet and losing weight faster than they ever dreamed possible! Some people have reported losing as much as 3 pounds in the first 24 hours!

Walkom: Earlier this year, Ottawa quietly settled with three other Muslim-Canadians — Abdullah Almalki, Ahmad El Maati and Muayyed Nureddin — to avoid a court judgment.

Ad: For years it was a widely held belief that extract from the skin fruit tree had magical properties.

Walkom: What?

Ad: Medical Doctors are Stunned At The Amazing Weight Loss Results of Study Participants.

Walkom: Look, I’m trying to discuss the Omar Khadr case here.

Dona E: I can’t believe how easy it was to lose my weight. Lipo 360 Fat Magnet truly changed my life 360 degrees and I never felt better or looked this good in years.

Walkom: But Dona, if you turn 360 degrees you’re back where you started.

Dona E: Everyone needs to try the amazing capsule.

Walkom: I’m quite happy with my weight, thank you.

Ad: Lipo 360 “Fat Magnet” are not cheap but they are very effective. A 30 day supply is $49.95. Please don’t wait to order.

Walkom: I think I’ll pass.

Ad: You really do deserve to be thin.

 

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