I am not a gambling man, but I bet the good citizens of CBRM will find it in their hearts to forgive me.
Sadly, there is to be no three-way race in the CBRM this fall. Blame number 13.
As you may be aware, Dr StrangeJob is an active member of Incompetents Anonymous (IA), the world’s first 12+1 step self-help group. IA does for the incompetent what Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) does for the alcoholic. I myself diligently work the IA Steps but find myself stuck on Step 5. For the uninitiated, Step 5 requires addicts to admit the exact nature of their wrongs to God, to themselves and to another human being. Yes, it’s time that I fess up, walk the walk and talk the talk.
I hit my personal rock bottom on 20 October 2012—the day I made the worst political decision of my career and naively voted for the wrong CBRM mayoralty candidate. There, I said it. My bad.
In admitting my wrong, I not only opened the door to recovery, I became obsessed with alleviating the damage my misguided judgment had wrought upon the CBRM. I swore upon my soul to God that I would never let the good citizens down again. I was confident my recovery was imminent. All was well with the world, but it newly dawned on me that I would face the same choice on 15 October 2016. In response, I made the decision to run for Mayor. Dr StrangeJob would be the savior of CBRM.
You can understand my disappointment when I went to City Hall on September 14 to declare my candidacy and learned I was one day too late. Is it my fault I suffer from Triskaidekaphobia and was forced to wait until the fourteenth to fill out the paperwork? Who would sign life-changing documents on the thirteenth?
When in the history of CBRM municipal elections was an incompetent candidate blocked from running in the election? Not once. Until now.
Here I am, a recovering incompetent and proud member of IA, suffering from a legitimate phobia and they turned me away. I understand what Trump means when he says the election is rigged. I seek accommodation and ask the good citizens of CBRM to support me in my plight.
Unfortunately, I may not be sufficiently well-connected politically to expect such accommodation. Perhaps I need a few photo-ops with political big-wigs to force City Hall to recognize my candidacy. That approach seems to work for my opponents — incumbent Clarke required a photo-op to cement his marriage with the PCs and challenger MacSween has taken photos with every highfalutin’ Liberal in Cape Breton except Manning MacDonald.
Journalistic integrity dictates that I not admit which candidate I voted for in 2012, but I will say that on October 15, I will be voting for the other fella. My new campaign slogan, “Help Make CBRM Right Again,” does not refer to any particular political affiliation, because our 1,000-per-year outmigration is proof that most Capers are already Left. We just need to get them out to vote that way.
Until next time—that’s my two cents’ worth.
Dr. StrangeJob is a local satirical blogger, retired educator, social activist, and developer of the world’s first 12+1 step self-help group, Incompetents Anonymous.
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