Dr. StrangeJob Takes the Pledge: Part II

Dr. StrangeJob has not fallen off the wagon since starting the pledge last week, so he is still hoping to catch the CBRM gravy-train. Since Joe Citizen’s CBRM Councillors’ Pledge continues to raise a stink with CBRM taxpayers, there is now talk about a new rank in council. Hence, the Doctor aims to ride the split-vote banner directly up the middle to the golden trough built on the empty stomachs of non-voting children.

6. I will use social media weekly to communicate with you.

Welcome to my weekly Cape Breton Spectator column.

Understandably, some senior council members hesitate to adopt new social media tools after their last foray into new technologythe party-line telephone system. Sure, they saw the benefit of using one-to-one Vintage telephonecommunication channels for private conversations, but they were caught unaware when they discovered that ALL party-line members could listen to all of their conversations. Incidentally, this is same reason why current council holds the record for in-camera meetings.

7. I will respect my community. Your voice, including criticism, is valuable to me.

Your voice, including criticism, is extremely valuable to me—as long as it is directed at my opponents in the upcoming election. Otherwise, if you don’t have anything good to say about me personally, then kindly follow the advice of District 12 Councilor Jim MacLeod and just shut up.

8. If you elect me for four years, I will not quit on you.

Not a problem, I can easily live on $108,667, plus perks, for the next four years. Heck, that’s five times my last pogey claim! To be honest, I should add a caveat: I will not quit unless I receive a better offer. There will be higher-level elections during my mandate, and one never knows when my federal or provincial cronies will come knocking. Oh, I guess I should also mention that I have filled out an online application for Senator, a position I would be obligated to accept if offered. Other than that, I am in for the full four years.

9. I will fight for transparency and push for all open public meetings.

The majority of CBRM citizens have clearly already seen through me. I just hope that demographic decides not to vote in October. Also, I have no problem with open meetings. If elected, I will add an agenda item to all in-camera sessions to ensure that all in-camera meetings end with a public pronouncement of what was decided in-camera.

10. I will follow the rules. Rules and regulations will not be ignored.

The issue is not that rules and regulations are being ignored, the issue is that citizens are somehow finding out that the rules and regulations are being ignored. If elected, I will add the clause “or other rules and regulations as assigned” to all CBRM regulations. Problem solved.

Until next time—that’s my two cents’ worth.

Dr. StrangeJob

 

Dr. StrangeJob is a local satirical blogger, retired educator, social activist, and developer of the world’s first 12+1 step self-help group, Incompetents Anonymous.

 

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