Elections are dangerous times. Don’t sit on your front yard or you may get skewered by a campaign sign. Don’t let your family pets near the street, lest they be spray-painted or asphalted over by zealous provincial road workers. 
Fortunately for you, you are not alone during this perilous period: Dr. StrangeJob has your back.
Why is Dr. StrangeJob running for premier of Cape Breton rather than for MLA? Because our current government is unaware of life outside of Halifax Regional Municipality (HRM) and someone needs to take up the cause for our side of the causeway and put the equal back in equalization.
The current wait time for a mental health referral in Cape Breton is 354 days, compared to 80 in Halifax. One in three Cape Breton children is living in poverty while, at the same time, one of our MLAs racked up the single-largest monthly expense claim for self-promotional trinkets. Voters should be mad as hell over political expense scandals, but instead, they support “indulgent” and “opportunistic” spending by promoting those involved to the Provincial cabinet. Incumbents sit in comfortable pews in Halifax following HRM-centric party mandates while Cape Breton continues to suffer. We need to do better.
And enough with the pre-election spending sprees and expenditure promises already! Trying to keep up with the tri-party spending commitments is like trying to follow a drunk auctioneer selling snowballs in hell. Party 1 promises to spend X amount of dollars on item A, then Party 2 ups the ante promising to spend X plus Y dollars. Meanwhile, Party 3 jumps on the bandwagon promising to not only match Party 1 and Party 2 but also throw in extra dollars for any cause that might get them elected.
As the old adage goes, if a politician found cannibals among his constituents he would serve missionaries for dinner.
Dr. StrangeJob chooses to run as an independent candidate rather than align himself with any provincial party because party membership often requires loyalty to partisan policy or dictated agendas that may not protect our Island’s best interests. We have seen that happen with Bill 75 and we will continue to see it happen as long as our elected officials are more focused on party patronage than on the wishes of their constituents. This is not to say that Dr. StrangeJob is without affiliation. In fact, his sponsor is a member of Incompetence Anonymous and he is backed by the CBLA-InComps.
Support Dr. StrangeJob for premier of Cape Breton because he promises to beat the current government’s performance records. OK, well, perhaps he can’t top being responsible for the first-ever teacher’s strike in 122 years, a decimated film industry, labor unrest and a health care system in chaos. Admittedly, those records may be a bit tough to beat.
However, if the best defense is a good offense, then it is time to dial up the offense. Politicians will only stop breaking promises when people stop voting for promise-breaking politicians. Vote wisely, or there will be no one to blame but yourself.
Dr. StrangeJob is a local satirical blogger, retired educator, social activist, creator of Incompetents Anonymous and interim leader of the CBLA-InComps.
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